Editor’s note: despite my contempt for the average Australian politician, I have severe doubts about the veracity of this forwarded email. Still funny, but.

 

O     M     G!

We are in such deep trouble………… and it doesn’t appear to matter what side of the fence you look at.

These are a worry!!!

   
Canberra airport ticket agent – a must read!
 
This is priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication 
of how much trouble our country is in.

God Bless  Australia!

 A Canberra airport ticket agent offers  
 some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble: 

 
1.  I had a politician (Julie Bishop) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.  (On an airplane!)

 2.  I got a call from a Qld politician (Katter) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted  to go to Capetown.   I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,  and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, 
 but Capetown IS in Qld….”  Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, 
 ”Cooktown is in Qld, Capetown is in  Africa   ”

 His response — click..

 3.  A senior Labor Politician (Kevin Rudd) called, furious about a Florida package 
We did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation in  Orlando.  He said he was expecting an 
Ocean-view room.  I tried t o explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and  Florida  is a very thin state!” (OMG) 
 4.  I got a call from a Politicians wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see  England from  Canada   ?”

 I said, ”No.”

 She said, ”But they look so close on the map.” (OMG, again!) 
5.  An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if she could rent a car in  Sydney . 
 I pulled up the reservation and noticed she had only a 1-hour layover in  Sydney.  When I asked her why she wanted to rent a car, she said, ”I heard  Sydney  was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh) 
6.  An Independent (Wilkie)  called last week. He needed to know how it  was possible that his flight from  Sydney  left at 8:30 a.m., and got to  Perth  at 8:33 a.m.

 I explained that Sydney was two hours ahead of Perth , but he couldn’t understand 
 The concept of time zones.  Finally, I told him the plane went fast, and he bought that.

 7.  A Federal politician, (Joe Hockey) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description 
 On your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?’  I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’ He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage 
 That said (FAT), and I’m overweight.  I think that’s very rude!”

 After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing).I came back 
 And explained the city code for Fraser Island is (FAT – Fraser Air Terminal), and the airline was 
 Just putting a destination tag on his luggage. 
8.  A Senator  (Bronwyn Bishop) called to inquire about a trip package to  Hawaii. 
 After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to  California 
 And then take the train to  Hawaii  ?” 
9.  I just got off the phone with a Labor politician, Peter Garrett who asked, 
 ”How do I know which plane to get on?”
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, 
 But none of these planes have that number on them.” 
10.  Peter Slipper (Qld politician) called and said, ”I need to fly to  Pepsi-Cola,  Florida . 
 Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”

 I asked if he meant fly to  Pensacola,  FL  on a commuter plane.

 He said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11. Mary Landrieu, (Kevin Rudd’s aide) called and had a question about the documents she and her boss needed in order to fly to China.  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t.  I’ve been to  China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.  When I told her this she said, 
 ”Look, I’ve been to  China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

 12. Prime Minister (Julia Gillard) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from 
 Chicago to Rhino,  New York ..” I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

 ‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied Ms Gillard.

 After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry,  I’ve looked up every airport code

in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”

”Julia said, ”Oh, don’t be silly!  Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of  New York  and finally offered, ”You don’t mean  Buffalo, do you?”

The reply?  ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in! 

  

Could anyone be this DUMB? 

   

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, 

AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.. 

  

I don’t write it, I just offer it for your consideration. 

Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

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